all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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