At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize