Do vagina's smell?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
