well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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