he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
