at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
