How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
