i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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