After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize