ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
