Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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