I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
