If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
