do herpes really smell.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
