her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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