you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
