I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize