New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
