When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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