if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
