I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
