What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
