They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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