i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
