Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
