Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
