her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
