if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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