He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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