my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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