But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize