I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
