my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just high enough for therapy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
