My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have post one night stand depression
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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