Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
