We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Watching her eat just hurts me
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
