Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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