I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
