I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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