my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
