Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
