We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
