Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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