Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
All the doctor said was why
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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