I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
her vagine was all disorganized.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
