k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
