We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
