yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize