Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
