he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
