i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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