Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
