evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
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