Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
