I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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