in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize