well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize