dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
