So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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