I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
