you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize