I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Randomize
