Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
