Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
