That's when you crack a 10am beer
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dicks are not precious.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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