At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
