now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
