I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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