it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
