I just pynch a tree in the face
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
